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Handouts

Defusing Your Spouse’s Nasty Comments

The following is a list of intimidating remarks that one spouse may make to the other. Over the years of my practice, I have heard the same or similar comments. By reading these comments in advance, you will be prepared to deal with them. Typical remarks include:

  • I am going to drag this case out forever. By the time you get your share of the property, you’ll be too old to enjoy it.
  • If you persist in your economic demands, I am going to file a custody action and take the children away from you.
  • I’ve got the best lawyer in town. He’s going to kill you and your lawyer.
  • Your lawyer is a crook. His only interest is to drag out the case in order to make more money.
  • You’ve gotten yourself the most expensive lawyer around. The two lawyers are going to eat up all of the assets that we acquired during the marriage.
  • My lawyer knows all of the judges. There’s no way that you are going to get a decent result in court.
  • I was ready to give you a fair settlement. Now that you got a lawyer, I am going to play hardball and you’re going to end up with much less than I was willing to give you.
  • You’re crazy for pushing this divorce case. All that you are doing is taking money away from the children.
  • If you don’t settle on a reasonable basis, I will have to take the children out of school.
  • I’m going to tell the children that you are responsible for this mess.
  • At the rate you and your lawyer are going, I’ll have to declare bankruptcy and nobody is going to win.
  • If you don’t settle on my terms, I’m going to drag your girlfriend (or boyfriend) into this case.
  • Your lawyer is too busy to handle this case.
  • You can’t trust divorce lawyers. They always work with the lawyer on the other side and run up unnecessary time to make more money.
  • My lawyer is mean. He’s going to make your life miserable.

These comments merely illustrate what other clients have heard from time to time. Hopefully, your spouse is not the kind who makes such statements. My experience has been that there rarely is any basis for such comments. If you do hear any of this “garbage” from your spouse, please understand that my position is the following:

  1. My office staff and I are experienced in matrimonial matters and you can be assured that we are not going to be intimidated by any such statements made by your spouse or allow you to be intimidated.
  2. If you have any concerns, please discuss them with us. We are available and open to discuss anything your spouse might say.
  3. Finally, we take pride in our office practice and ethical standards. You can always count on our integrity and good faith in representing you.